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| I'M DROWNING IN PAPERWORKS. Seriously, there are just too many right now. And with finals coming up, God help me.
- Mood:stressed
 - Music:MOMOL Mixtape Vol. 1 - DJ Mars
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| my 7th birthday was the grandest birthday celebration i've ever had. since my cousin and i share the same birth month -- mine falls on the 17th of april while hers fall on the 29th -- my grandma decided to give us a double birthday celebration. it was one of the most unforgettable birthdays i've ever had, and it's not because of the gifts i received or the guests who came that day. the reason? that same day, i got discharged from the hospital after a week of being hospitalized. just imagine how weak i felt during the entire day. while my relatives were eating happily and my cousins staring in awe at the clown's tricks, i was stuck in one corner, weak and nauseated. when it was time for me and my cousin to blow the candles [on our cakes], i couldn't even put out the flame. i tried blowing the candles for a few more times, before the people surrounding me decided that i didn't have an ounce of energy to do it on my own. in the end, everyone ended up helping me. i remember this day vividly. we had a lot of guests and a lot of food, not to mention, the number of gifts i received. so why did this suddenly come to mind? yesterday, i celebrated my 21st birthday. oh, how time flies so fast. unlike when i was a kid, my birthday celebration at present is modest, quiet and spent with family or maybe a few friends. i don't receive so many gifts anymore, but it's alright. although life is more complicated at this stage, i'm very thankful that i was able to live and experience a lot of things that most people didn't have a chance to try. besides, what matters the most is that i spend not only every special occasion, but everyday, with the people i love. | |
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| ever since i was a kid, i've had a hard time expressing my feelings.
god knows how much i want to let it all out -- but for some weird reason, every time i try to force the words out of my mouth, the more it gets stuck in the back of my throat. my mom would always scold me, telling me not to keep everything all to myself. it's not like i've experienced someone backstabbing me or started spreading malicious rumors about me. it would make more sense if i've had a traitor friend or something, but for 20 years, my life has been ... exceptionally normal. my friends are awesome, my family has been nothing but supportive even though i've been a pain in the ass, i'm attending my dream university and well, to cut it short: life IS great.
maybe i don't want to burden others with my concerns.
maybe i'm afraid of what others will say about me, that if they knew what my weaknesses are, then it's the same as giving them the key to destroy or hurt me.
or maybe, in the back of my mind, i still think i'm some kind of superwoman who doesn't need anyone's help to solve her own problems.
once in a while, i wish it were easy to share my burdens to someone. it's so liberating to free yourself from the things that hold you back. and it's a good feeling knowing that you've given a part of your life to someone you trust with all your being.
- Location:universe
- Mood:sore
 - Music:the man who can't be moved - the script
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| one day, my impulsiveness will get me into trouble.
i don't know what possessed me to create a blog. i often visit livejournal to grab some icons and other graphics, as well as read fanfiction. but all those things i can do even without an account. anyway, here i am -- trying to get past all the trouble of making my first entry. i still don't know how lj works and it's such a pain in the ass trying to customize my page.
okay, back to studying for 3 gruesome exams and finishing my paper for finals due later. whoever coined the acronym TGIF is a liar. fridays are always deadlines for, well, every single school stuff in the universe.
ps. i miss sleeping T_T
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